Wouldn’t it be nice to figure out how to stop complaining?
In this blog post, you’ll learn how to strengthen your relationships and live a happier life by becoming complaint free.
“Less pain, better health, satisfying relationships, a better job, being more serene and joyous … sound good? It’s not only possible, it’s probable. Consciously striving to reformat your mental hard drive is not easy, but you can start now and in a short period of time—time that will pass anyway—you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of having.” ~ Will Bowen from A Complaint Free World.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we learned how to stop complaining?
Internationally renowned Author and speaker Will Bowen is a fantastic example of someone who teaches us how to live the life that you’ve always dreamed about, through personal transformation and living life complaint-free, to lead to happiness and prosperity.
Yes, a complaint free life!
So where do we start? Let’s start with ourselves…
We all want to prosper in all areas of life. But what we often neglect or forget about is our actions and our words, which ultimately determine prosperity and personal transformation, that includes living life complaint-free.
Your thoughts create your life. Your words indicate what you’re thinking
– Will Bowen
So what does it take to really prosper in life and how to stop complaining?
Well, there really is no magic pill or injection we can take to solve the everyday challenges that we undergo to bring us closer to prosperity and transformation. These are interpersonal aspects of life that start with YOU, the individual, which also influence those around you.
It’s mind over matter, connection, and communication that is predominantly the driving force to prosperity to experience better health, happier relationships, greater career success, and a significant increase in happiness. If you’d like to go a little deeper into these topics, check out the 10-day challenge from WhyNot3, where you will discover more about work-like balance, focusing on your health, wealth, and relationships.
People often say that they want more in their life and yet they ironically complain about what they already have. Wayne Dyer, a renowned philosopher and motivational once said, “if your not happy with what you’ve got, why in the world would you want more?”. How to stop complaining? One of the things we have to do is start to appreciate what we have because as we know what we appreciate expands our lives.
Back in 2006, Will Bowen started a non-profit movement called ‘A Complaint Free World’ movement where it began with the idea of handing out bracelets to remind us of how often we complain on a daily basis and to express more positivity in our words and actions. The main idea is to teach us how to stop complaining but to really to remind us of what we should be grateful for and be learning to develop healthy communication skills. It’s amazing how often we may complain without realizing it. Using these bracelets is a simple way to change the way we think.
What is complaining exactly?
It comes in many forms. Expressing grief, pain, or discontent are each forms of complaining. However, what we either don’t realize or forget about, is that complaining is damaging to your health, destructive to your relationships, and limits your career success.
Think of your body as a temple, our minds and our bodies are connected and it’s crucial that we take care of both to lead to positive transformation and prosperous lives.
Perhaps unintentionally, we as people act as if we are the center of the universe, complaining about all of our problems and that the world around us owes us something or needs to sympathise with you. We then ask ourselves, then what are the best way on how to stop complaining?
What if focusing on the problem all the time, we focused on how things would be when the problem is solved and finding the solution?
What would it be like it in a conversation or in a meeting, we looked at how things would be if we were to constructively find a solution to the problem rather than dwelling on it. Complaining simply keeps you focused on the problem, not the solution. It holds us back.
In Will Bowen’s book and speeches about his 21-day complaint free challenge on how to stop complaining, he explains that we typically complain for 1 of 5 reasons, using the word ‘gripe’ as the acronym. The intention of this is that when confronted with someone complaining, it is to help them meet their needs so they can discontinue complaining, and finding positive ways around the negative thoughts or simply to avoid complaining at all.
How to stop complaining? Here are the five typical reasons for complaining and how to recognize it, using the acronym ‘GRIPE’:
- Get attention – everybody wants to be noticed and complaining is one way to do it.
It’s only natural that we want to be paid attention to, but what if we could avoid getting or giving attention with the form of complaining and turn it into a positive approach with charismatic warmth, attention, and eye contact for example. A solution could be by asking the person who’s complaining the question, “so what’s going well with ____ ?. This is turn would leave the person to respond with something positive rather than a negative complaint.
- Remove responsibility – complaining to remove themselves from responsibility. Complaining in this way is like an excuse as to why they can’t or rather not do something.Let’s say that person comes up with an excuse to exempt themselves out of the task, a question to this person be: “if it we possible, how would you do it?”. This is a tactical way of approaching it because it’s not disagreeing with the person but rather asking a question hypothetically so it discontinues that person from removing him or herself from responsibility.
- Inspire envy (or brag) – when you complain about someone or something, in this way is like saying “I don’t have that particular character flaw”. Gossip is also a part of this. So, how would you go around this? Compliment the opposite. Complimenting the opposite is in a way implying to the person what they are looking for but in a positive manner.
- Power – people complain for power and this can often be found in workplaces or in families for example. This type of complaining is when using a case against another person to get your way or form an “alliance” to side with you in order to get power. You may not realize it, but if there’s someone complaining to get power, it’s best to refuse to get involved. If there are 2 other people having a disagreement and want to pull you in, it’s best to say “sounds like you two have a lot to talk about”.
- Excuse poor performance – “this is why I shouldn’t try”, formed by rational lies as to why they didn’t succeed. To solve this, asking the question “how do you plan to improve next time”? This puts their focus on doing better next time and sets them up to be accountable for the next time too.Complaining usually will fall under one of these categories and is like a competitive sport and can be highly contagious.
Recognize it and get rid of it as soon as possible!
But, the most important person to stop complaining is YOU. Through positive and personal transformation, Will Bowen expresses that it is very possible to have a complaint free world.
I believe that, if you want to succeed in life, your words and actions are paramount in your journey to prosperity and that is one of the key ways on how to stop complaining.
Healthy living starts with healthy communication.
Eliminate the excuses, stop removing yourself from responsibility, avoid gossip, coming up with excuses for poor performance, and stop complaining! If we tried to take more notice of the way complain or the amount that we complain, we could have better relationships, be more grateful, have better career success, and live happier lives.
Complaining doesn’t do us any good, not for our own wellbeing and not for others around us. It just holds us and others back and prevents us from going forward.
In a nutshell, here are the 3 ways on how to stop complaining:
Change Your Perspective
Be thankful and practice gratitude. We sometimes forget about all the things we have in life to be thankful for in which we take for granted. Each day, reflect on a few things that you are happy for in your life. You’ll start to realize that you have much more than you may realize.
Take work, for example, not everyone is able to work or unable to find work that meets their financial needs. We can also appreciate diversity rather than focusing on differences, having an open mind and stop judging and be tolerant of others values and way of living can lead to happier living. If you want to learn how to stop complaining, changing your perspective is a great way to start.
Change the way you React
Communication is key. Go directly to the problem and try to solve it, don’t go around telling people about the complaint and not address the issue directly. Don’t gossip and complain by spreading it around like some contagious flu. Find ways to assert yourself instead of complaining and instead of pointing out the negatives, find the positives in the situation. Be mindful of your thoughts.
Another part of complaining by your reactions is going around the problem or avoiding it completely. Own up to your own mistakes and accept responsibility for your part in the way things are.
Unhappy with your current situation?
You are the only person with the power to change the way you live.
Patience is also another key factor. And unlike complaining giving constructive feedback rather than criticism offers a solution to help solve the problem. Let’s give this example, the next time you are following up on a work-partner where you notice an issue try approaching that person this with, “Hi [name], your project/task could use some improvements. Is there any training or more clear instruction to get you up to speed on the task? OR, what can we do to ensure that the project gets done correctly the first time?
Instead of complaining and reacting in a criticizing way, this not only goes directly to the problem, but it solves it in a tactful manner. Understanding how to stop complaining is best by looking at the way you reach.
The next time you confront a dramatic situation or where there is complaining, stop it immediately by turning the situation into a positive. Be aware of what triggers you and prepare yourself with positive affirmations or find a way to not react in a way that makes the situation worse or carry on.
Create a healthier Mindset
Be present in the moment. Think before you speak. Creating a healthier mindset is one way on how to stop complaining because it helps you become more aware of the moment, your actions and your works, along with others.
Exercise is always healthy for the mind, physically and mentally. Nowadays, we find ourselves sitting at a desk, staring at computer screens all day long and it takes a toll on us. Exercising is a great way to relieve stress so that we don’t relieve our stress and frustration that we would complain about. The physical exercise helps to create that balance between mind and body. Being in poor physical condition and in poor health is another reason to complain.
Be aware of what triggers you and which aspects or thing in your life bring out complaints. Then, find ways to relax and approach the issue differently than reacting.
How to stop complaining: practice mental-wellbeing.
Exercising, going for a long walk in the nature, deep breathing, yoga, meditation, and good rest are all important ways to practice this wellbeing to avoid complaining.
Every day is a new day to do better than before. Be open to new things, even if you’re unsure if it will work out. Don’t live in fear. All of this is relevant to communication, mindfulness, prosperity, living a happier life, and finding ways on how to stop complaining.
Life, as we know, is not perfect. This isn’t bad news. In fact, when we begin to understand this, we adapt to new ways of thinking and we see our lives change for the better. Yet, we complain about all sorts of things like weather, socks on the floor left from your spouse, the traffic that kept you late arriving to work, misplaced belongings, and the list can go on. Complaining is never a positive reaction to our situations.
Yet, we are all victims of it. But it’s time that this changes because it does not lead to happiness and healthy living.
Let me once again tell you that, it is possible to understand how to stop complaining, the first thing we have to do is to be aware, realize it and catch it in the act, before it even leaves your mind, in fact, you’ll become so good at filtering it out before it even enters your mind.
If you consider optimising your health and relationships important to you, I would highly recommend trying out the 10-day challenge course from Whynot3. The 10-day challenge covers many aspects of personal transformation, from health, wealth, and relationships, so that it can help you live life to be the best you can be. Check it out by going to the link below the video.
“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” —Tom Wilson
“Your thoughts create your life. Your words indicate what you’re thinking”. – Will Bowen
Make sure to subscribe to the Whynot3’s FREE 10-day Work-Life Balance Challenge. There you will go deeper into topics of optimizing your health, wealth and relationships.